In Region Day 5

 DONSA number two.  We actually got to sleep in this morning for a change which was really nice since we had taken an evening boat cruise on the Neipper River (costing us only $5 for over an hour of cruising!) with another family that is in region and then had a late dinner.  After getting back to the apartment around midnight local time, we called the kids at home via Skype and talked for nearly an hour.  After getting up, we had brunch at the Celentano Pizza Restaurant (“Pectopah” for those Americans who don’t read Cyrillic).  I had a wonderful ham, cheese, and mushroom “pancake”, Erika’s had Nutella and nuts..  Since it was such a nice day, we decided to walk to the market to look for some clothes for the kids.  The market here is roughly divided into three sections: food stuff, clothes stuff, and “stuff” stuff.  The food section is up front, the clothes section is in the back, and “stuff” is in the middle.  Occasionally you run into areas where they don’t seem to know the rules, but for the most part you have a fairly good idea of where to look for what you want.  Since prices are set by the individual vendors they can vary greatly so don’t grab the first item you find unless you are in a hurry.  The vendors at the market will negotiate for price, but only a little since they price pretty close to their bottom profit margin to begin with.  Since we are unsure of the kids’ actual sizes we didn’t buy anything for them at the market and went to one of the clothing stores in a nearby mall.  While the prices are more expensive then what you would find in the market, the advantage is that you can make an arrangement with the shopkeeper to exchange if it is the wrong size.  However, you must make this arrangement at the time of purchase, and you must do it on the day that the shopkeeper sets for the exchange.  When we were done we grabbed a bus back to the apartment.  You only have three options for getting around when you are in region; walk, use a driver, and take public transportation.  The easiest of course is simply to walk and this works fine if the weather cooperates and the distance is short, but for longer travel, or if the weather is bad you may need transportation.  You can use the driver that is provided for your “official” adoption travel, but that can cost you as much as 700 GVN ($87.50 U.S.) a day, and it not only ties up a driver that another family may need for official travel, but the drivers have lives and families too.  Public transportation here (and in the last region we were in as well as Kiev) is well developed, cheap (2 GVN will get you anywhere in the city), and reliable.  It is no more crowded, hazardous, or dirty then the Metrobus system in Washington, DC.  Each of the major bus stops has a route map that even Americans can figure out, and the busses are clearly marked.  All the numbers are the same as ours so if nothing else you can just see which bus services the stop nearest your apartment and that’s the one you take to get home.  Just like any major city there are “rush hours” where the buses get crowded by people going to and from work.  If the bus is too crowded for your liking, just wait.  There will be another bus in a few minutes.  The only tricky part is when you pay.  What we have learned is that on the yellow buses you pay when you exit, the white ones are pay when you board.  We also learned last night that the buses stop running at 22:00 (I love the fact that they use a 24 hour clock here, although it does drive Erika a little crazy).We are finding that this region is no more expensive than our last adoption and actually the apartments are a bit cheaper. The apartments are, however, very similar to living in an IKEA display.  We went for a walk down by the river in the early evening.  The river is definitely a gathering place for the people who live here as the heat of the day begins to fade.  They go there to fish, swim, walk, or just sit and enjoy watching everyone else.  One of the interesting things that we saw was this young man in his late teens/early twenties go running across the sidewalk, dive over the guard rail along the river edge and, as he was heading for the water, shout in heavily accented English “I am Superman!”  His buddy then ran across the sidewalk but, being either more cautious or saner, stopped at the guardrail, stepped over it and jumped feet first into the river.  After our walk, we went to what is becoming one of our favorite restaurants.  Something to note here is that you do tip here, and 10% seems to be the standard.  One thing you may want to bring with you is a small pocket calculator, not so much to figure tips and exchange rate but to make price offers or have the vendor type in the price for you.  It makes it much more convenient then trying to hold up fingers or read some bad Cyrillic script.

The evenings are cool and the streets are safe, even at 2300, which is when we were finally heading back to the apartment. 

In Region Day 4

04 August, 2012

Today is what we call a DONSA in the Army.  It means “Day Of No Scheduled Activity”.  To normal people, that would mean sleeping in/leisurely “start-the-day” kind of stuff … Nahw! It was “meet me downstairs at 07:30 so we can get to the market” (we had run out of “green groceries”).  A quick bus ride to the city center put us at a HUGE outdoor market.  One of the things you learn pretty quickly here is that if you want good, cheap produce go to the open markets.  This particular one is what all the Farmer’s Markets in the U.S. strive to be! Vegetables, tree fruits, vine fruits, berries, nuts, tubers, beans, grains, herbs, spices, baked goods … whatever you wanted or needed was there and in abundance.  As always the cost of the produce was well below that which I had expected to pay and the quality so much higher than I expected to find.  After taking our stash back to the apartment we were told that around lunch we would take my suit to the cleaners.  One of our drivers had done research on dry cleaners here in the city until he located one that used “American style” cleaning processes and guaranteed that they could have it back by Tuesday (just another example of how  most of the people here are anxious to help and will often go well beyond what you ask or expect).  The cost was about the same as you would pay back in the U.S..  While we are talking about funds let me make this recommendation: at the very beginning of your process set up a separate adoption funds account at your bank.  This is the account that all of your grants, FSP, direct donations from friends, etc. monies will go to.  That way you have clear separation of accounts for expenses that are directly related to the adoption (USCIS, fingerprints, facilitation fees, travel expenses, etc.) and other incidental expenses (toys for the kids, gifts for friends/relatives, a special meal or event, etc.).  This way you can clearly show to anyone who may challenge you that you did not “inappropriately” spend any of the donated funds.  As sad as it is that people would think this way, it does happen.  Using the ATMs here (known as the “bankomat”) is no more hazardous than using the ATMs at home.  They are very convenient since you automatically get the day’s exchange rate, they are never on an extended lunch, and you don’t have to turn over your passport for scrutiny each time you would like to get additional funds.  Do confine your ATM use to those that are either inside a place of business, or one of the major banks here and exercise the normal precautions that you would take in the U.S..  Something to remember while you are here is that a little gratitude goes a very long way.  Always be polite and thank people when they do anything for you, regardless of how small. When appropriate, a small gift (plants and flowers are good choices since they are relatively inexpensive and have no real monetary value of their own) that can be displayed and will act as a reminder to the person of your gratitude can smooth many “bumps” in the administrative road.    Since this seems to be taking on the flavor of an advice column, here’s a couple more:

Eat salads as often as you can.  Not only are they good and good for you, but they will help you remain hydrated and balance your electrolytes.  It is very easy to become unbalanced (in oh so many ways!) during international travel and water is not always conveniently at hand.

Drink the bottled water in moderation.  While it is perfectly safe, it is still different so you need to spread it out over the day so your GI system can adjust.  Be aware that it comes in “gas” and “no gas” so order appropriately.  Your water intake should be about two liters a day (about 64 ozs for us Americans) which very few of us get just from drinking.

Pancakes here = Crepes at home.  They come in sweet and salty/savory.  Do eat them when you are here! (Onion, mushroom and cheese is a personal favorite!)

Order your pizza with ham or salami.  Pepperoni does not seem to have any definitive definition here and you are pretty much rolling the dice on what you are going to get if you ask for it.

DO NOT JAYWALK!!!  Pedestrians in the crosswalk have the right of way; pedestrians outside the crosswalk are aiming points.  The penalty for jaywalking here is death and the sentence is usually carried out immediately!

Jaywalking - part deaux; If the crosswalk does not have electronic walk/don’t walk signs you can cross when you would like.  Even though it may not seem like it, the traffic WILL stop.  If the crosswalk does have electronic walk/don’t walk signs, OBEY THE SIGNS! (see above for penalty of violation)

 All for today, time for dinner … Yum!!

In Region Day 3

03 August, 2012

Well the power was back on today which meant that we could stop by the Children’s Services Office first thing to finalize some documents.  That was a good thing for us since we bought the Director a basket of flowers last night, but left them at the apartment in our haste to get out the door.  While Luda was in the CSO, Erika and I went on a short walk in search of replacement flowers. We found what amounts to a Ukrainian strip mall and, as we were walking up to the doors, saw a women coming out with a beautiful bunch of flowers.  Success! … Or so we thought … We went in and explored the whole area and while we did find some great shoes and fishing gear, no flowers.  We checked outside with the street vendors and still no luck.  In desperation we went inside and Erika began asking the shopkeepers “English…?”  After a couple unsuccessful attempts we found one shopkeeper who was willing to try her limited English.  Fortunately there were some fake flowers on the counter so Erika pointed to them, pantomimed growing with her hands and said “alive”.  She only had to do it three times before the lady had an “Aha!” moment and understood what the crazy Americans were after.  After conferring with another shopkeeper she left her shop, led us outside and across the square to a building that looked like anything but a florist, but it was.  We thanked her and she seemed tickled to death that she was able to help us.  This is the type of attitude we have come to expect here in Ukraine.  We were able to replace our humble (and forgotten) basket of flowers with a beautiful living orchid and went back to the car.  Luda joined us a short time later and it was off to the orphanage.  We started as usual with a visit to the Director’s office.  I don’t think the Director initially realized that the orchid was for her since it appeared that she was asking Luda who it was for.  When she was told that we had brought it for her as a symbol of our gratitude, she became uncomfortable and in a very humble manner explained that she was grateful but it was unnecessary.  We let her know that we were so impressed by the way in which she genuinely cared for the children in her orphanage (she knows every one of them by name and will not pass any of them by without greeting and conversing with them) that we wanted to give her something to show our appreciation.  Once again we went to the psychologist’s office for our meeting with the kids.  Jessa was in first and came over and gave Erika a hug and kiss, I got a smile and a wave.  The first thing she was interested in was the water that was left in a bottle that Erika had brought.  These kids seem to be chronically dehydrated and will suck down whatever liquids you are able to provide.  We spent a little time putting some puzzle pieces back into their box, Jessa showed great dexterity and care, and then we sat  on the floor and played with some Duplo blocks.  Jessa seems to have a great ability for initially mimicking an action, and then applying it appropriately later.  We had also bought a couple of sensory balls during our flower search so we broke those out as well.  About that time Caleb was brought in.  You could tell that he recognized us, but he waited for me to go over to him and take his hand before he moved.  Still no sounds other than growls and raspberries.  He seemed to like having one of the sensory balls rolled against him, especially his tummy which brought a small giggle and a big smile.  I started bouncing the balls to him as he sat on the couch next to Erika and he seemed to enjoy that quite a bit for a short time.  Unfortunately that inspired Jessa to try and toss the balls to me.  Let’s just say …Great enthusiasm, rotten aim!  I did manage to catch a couple of them which brought laughter from her, and she did manage to catch a couple that I had tossed.  Her depth perception and coordination seem to be pretty close to typical.  About then the caregivers came in and took them off to lunch.  Unfortunately we don’t get to visit again until Tuesday since we don’t get weekend visits and Luda will be working the court proceedings for another family on Monday.

In Region Day 2

02 August, 2012

Today’s visit started this morning at 10:00 with our arrival at a powerless orphanage.  It seems that the brief but severe storm that we had yesterday caused a break in a power line that had not yet been located.  The Director had taken it all in stride and had brought in a generator to power the critical systems (refrigerators, medical storage, etc.) and was preparing the staff to cook the mid-day meal over open fires outside if necessary.  That woman impresses me more each time I meet her!   We started in the psychologist’s office so that the food items that we brought for the kid’s groupas could be “inspected” for appropriateness (we passed).  By the way, don’t let the title “psychologist” intimidate you; over here it seems to be applied to anyone who asks you questions and doesn’t already have a title (the “psychologist” at the DAP(SDA) was just an administrative assistant who verified our passport information and pulled the referral files).  The kids were brought in and we gave them food for the first time.  Jessica has no problem eating or drinking … in fact we will have to exercise portion and item size controls with her (half a banana in one bite!!).  Caleb does not seem to have any chewing reflex at all.  Erika placed pieces of banana in his mouth and he swallowed them down without chewing regardless of the size of the bite.  He has never been fed anything that wasn’t pureed.  He had a little better success drinking from a juice box as long as the sips were small, if he got a big sip he would just expel l it.  We then took the kids outside.  Jessica had to stop just outside the door for a brief conversation with the orphanage dog that apparently was sleeping in the wrong place.  That little girl has a very determined and definite spirit; she’ll fit in our family just fine.  Caleb was also pretty excited to go outside and seemed to be attracted to the activity that was going on around him.  We took the kids over to a sandbox to play and discovered two things pretty quickly, 1) we need to teach Jessa how to sit down while wearing a skirt or dress – she just reached behind her, flipped everything up out of the way and plopped right down on the edge of the sandbox; 2) Caleb does not like the feeling of sand between his toes.  Of course being the overachieving parents that we are, we immediately began sensory integration for him.   He eventually walked a little in the sand, but I think he just resigned himself to the fact that we weren’t going to take him out, because when we brought him back to the sandbox a second time he “monkeyed” on me and would not put his feet down.  As we were heading back in, he saw the car that we were riding in and that became the object of his desire.  He walked around it with Erika, touching everything he could.  When they came to one of the doors that were open, he wanted to get in and go!  He was very frustrated when Erika brought him back to me so we could go inside.  We left a short time later since we are only officially allotted two hours per visit. 

Into Region

01 August, 2012

Last night we took the 21:00 train to region, arriving this morning at 07:00.  Just in case any of you decide to do the same in the future you should know that the AC does NOT work when the train is not moving!  Once the train did get going, the AC was kicki’n!  Not to worry though, there were hot tea and wafer cookies available on the train.  Immediately after arrival we met our facilitator Luda, a great personal friend of ours, at the station and were whisked off to drop our things at the apartment where we will be staying.  After getting our permission request notarized we finally went to the orphanage.  I must say that it is one of the better ones I have seen, but the DS kids are still confined in an area separate from the others.  After a brief interview with the director they brought in our kids.  Jessica (RR name Bernadette) is just an incredibly happy, bubbly 15 year old who unfortunately, due to nutrition challenges, is the size of a typical 9 YO. We brought her a singing Barbie doll that she was really happy with until, that is, we gave her the photo album of the rest of the kids. She spent most of the next hour flipping through the pages, pointing to each of the kids, and kissing the pictures. Caleb (RR name Mason) was initially very sedate and not very interactive. He is the size of a small 4 YO. After a few minutes of interaction he started to be more playful and actually played a bit with the toy truck we brought him. Both have the normal institutional delays complicated by the DS but as we have seen with Malachi and Clare, those can definitely be overcome. The Director and the staff members that we met all seem to be caring professionals, which is not what we were told to expect. Starting tomorrow we get to visit every day from 10:00 to 12:00.

How adoption has changed my family

I have to admit, I think my kids are pretty amazing. However, there are days when I stand in awe of them.

Adoption has always been on my heart. When I was a teenager, I felt God calling me to help orphans. At the time I thought that meant to open an orphanage in Kenya and love on all the kids in my orphanage. When I got married, I thought the dream of helping orphans was over. Little did I know, God was calling me to be a MOM to orphans, not just an Orphanage Director.

I also never expected this calling to take root in my kids, but it has! Adoption, whether it's more siblings, a dog, a horse, bunnies, anything, is how my children want it to be.

That desire is so strong within them that they are willing to go to extrewme measures to make it happen.

Last week my kids started concocting a plan to have a bake sale to raise money for special needs adoptions. Now, we live in the country so I was pretty doubtful that anyone would drive by and stop to buy a cookie. But, I never want to discourage them, so they started baking. We had a busy weekend planned and I didn't quite know how to implement the bake sale.

Well, every Saturday morning Mel and Matthew go to the local fishing spot for some "man time". When they came home, they still had a few minnows left. My husband, never wanting a good fishing opportunity pass him by, thought maybe they could go back later in the day and while he fished the kids could sell cookies to the hungry fishermen.

My awesome kids packed up those cookies and hit up every person there. When they came home, they had sold $5 in cookies and had six bags left over for us to eat. Now, I would have been discouraged to come home with cookies. Not my kids. They knew they gave it their all and God was pleased with their effort.

I asked who they wanted to donate the money to. Obvioulsy they know that we are fundraising for our Jessa and Mason, but it was never a requirement that they give to us. Without a pause, Matthew says, "Duncan". He is a teenage boy with CP that we really considered bringing home, but we didn't think we could get there fast enough. Our kids already consider him a long distance brother and wanted to help get him home fast.

So we donated my children's "widow's mite" to his family. Later, Matthew came up to me and said,"Mom, my heart feels really good about what we did."

My boy, all of heaven is smiling down on you. You make your mommy and daddy so proud!

Norwex- just what we were looking for.

So a friend of mine had been asking to do a fundraiser for us for a while. I really stink at hosting parties because no one seems to come. I have many friends, they just live somewhere else, so I kept putting her off. Finally a friend at church said she would host it and all I had to do was show up. My friend, Judy, was demo-ing products from a company called Norwex. They are "green" products that basically you clean with a special (anti bacterial) microfiber cloth and water. That's it! Really, can a cloth and water really clean up after my crazy, dirty family?

Well, she did the party and I was hooked! I decided I wanted to be a consultant too. Now, I still had my doubts about the products, so I first ordered a ton of stuff to try out. They came in on a Friday and then the weekend came and we got busy.....which means no cleaning.

On Monday, we had someone come to look at our house to rent. I was frantic that morning! I woke everyone up early, dressed and fed them and then started throwing Norwex cloths at everyone and shouted "Go clean something!"

That was it.... with a microfiber cloth and water, my house got clean. I didn't worry about John Daniel taking the Windex and spraying a sibling in the face with it. I didn't have to shout,"Where are the papertowels?" or "Stop unrolling the paper towels down the stairs!"

I didn't worry about the kids wiping the toilet first and then the sink and counters (remember "anti- bacterial). I used some Norwex oven and grill cleaner on my stovetop and really was surprised that it came clean!

I have to admit, normally I am a pretty bad housekeeper. With so many little ones I worry about getting out all the chemicals and a little person drinking it down. We try to get the kids involved in cleaning, but that just makes me more crazy as I see one child spraying the Windex into anothers face while they are"cleaning".

So,  now I was convinced that this stuff can clean, but what about the Personal Care items. I got out one of the face cloths (anti-bac also) that I saw a lady use at the party. I took my shower as usual and then wiped my face with the cloth. Really, I felt nothing. I was disappointed that I didn't feel it scrub my face or anything. So I rinsed it off and hung it up and then....touched my face. It was soft......really, really soft!
My daughter, Madison, is just starting to get acne on her nose so I went to get her, to have her use it too. She thought I was crazy, but she is a good girl, so she did it. She got the cloth wet and wiped her whole face and did a little extra scrub on her nose. She looked at me with that "are you serious?" face that teenagers do. I told her to touch her face. Her eye's light up and she said, "My face is so soft!". Later that day we noticed her acne was gone!.
I didn't tell my husband about either of our experiences and just told him to use the cloth to wash his face when he was done shaving. He did the next morning and then went off to work. He called me later that day and said he didn't think the cloth did anything when he washed his face and neck, but then noticed his face felt really soft. Later he called and said his dress shirts normally irriated his neck by the end of the day, but didn't on that day. He had rubbed his neck with the cloth!

I know this is a long post, but I am just so excited about what we have found. And the best part... I am holding parties now for other adoptive familes to help them financially.

I feel really good about helping families have a cleaner home and have it safe for their children also. The products work great for people with allergies or have a sensitivity.

Thanks for continuing to read and let me ramble.
If you want to read up on the products go to http://erikarogers.norwex.biz

Be Blessed,
Erika