09 August, 2012
I learned something today regarding the can opener
that we had at our last apartment that redeemed my honor as a manipulator of
all things mechanical …but I digress. We
started the morning off as usual with a trip to the market to get some
fruit. We decided to be a bit creative
today and bought plums instead of peaches.
We also picked up some soft toys in hope that we could give them to
Caleb’s groupa. We arrived at the
orphanage and went through the usual food check. The nurse was quite approving of the fact that
we had found such large, good quality plums (I think she likes plums herself). Jessa was brought in first so we spent a
little time just sitting with her and talking to her. Caleb came in a few minutes later and … he
was dressed in Boy Clothes!! He did
still have his blue socks, and shoes with dragons on the toes, but we are making
progress. Well today was picture
day. Once Luda had the permission slip
we walked the kids out of the orphanage and over to the car. Jessa was a little nervous but trusts Erika
enough to get in. As soon as Caleb saw
the car he was trying to get away from me so he could climb inside. The ride to the photo shop was rather short
but the whole way Caleb was trying to position himself so that he could see well. When we arrived Jessa was quite happy to get
out but I had to hand Caleb over to Erika because he wanted to stay in the
car. There were several steps leading up
to the photo shop which was a challenge for Jessa. She doesn’t seem to have any mobility
challenges, but steps seem to spook her.
I had one hand and Luda took the other and we “stomped” our way up one
step at a time. The photo shop was empty
except for us, which I think was coordinated, so Caleb and I had a seat while
Jessa had her picture taken. We suspected
she was a bit of a camera hog since every picture we have seen of her has a big
smile, but this confirmed it. The girl
likes to have her picture taken, except for the flash which seemed to disorient
her and caused her to recoil physically.
Then it was Caleb’s turn. It
wasn’t nearly as difficult as I imagined it would be, the biggest challenge
being in getting him to look at the camera.
After a quick drive back to the orphanage it was time to play
outside. We had picked up some bubbles
at the market this morning and it was rather breezy so things worked out
well. The kids thought that it was
great! It was also another new sensation
for Caleb to have bubbles pop on his skin.
We played on the playground equipment for a bit longer, Jessa deciding
on her own that she wanted to go down the slide today, and Caleb taking a short
ride with Mom on the merry-go-round.
11:30 rolled around and Caleb started to exhibit his normal “I’m done”
behavior so we went inside for Banana Time.
While I broke pieces off for Jessa, Erika worked with Caleb. Today she was not only putting pieces deep in
his cheeks, but also pressing pieces gently against his palate so that he had
to use his tongue to move the food in two directions before he could
swallow. After eating his banana, he
settled down in Erika’s arms almost as if he was planning on taking a nap. Jessa and I looked at a magazine and she was
back to “brat” and “sistra” for the pictures of men and women, however, she did
resume “man” and “lady” after only one reminder from me. It was time for the kids to go back so we
brought Jessa back to her room and then went upstairs with Caleb and the soft
toys we had brought. Luda let the
caregivers know that we would like to give the toys to the groupa and we were
invited into the common area. Now we had
seen the common area before from the door, but this was the first really good
look that we had. In the middle of the
room is a large (12ft X 12ft?) play pen which, in typical Ukrainian
practicality, is made from welded steel and painted a bright white. There was a large rug on the floor inside of
it and several children were playing with each other. The room itself is bright, clean, and well
ordered. The caregivers took one look at
the soft blocks that Erika was holding and very enthusiastically told her it
was ok to give them to the children. One
of the caregivers even asked if it would be ok for her to take some to the back
so the children could have some toys in their cribs. All of the caregivers that we have interacted
with since we started visiting the orphanage have seemed to genuinely care for
the children in their charge. We have
heard that there are a few who, because so many families are coming so quickly,
are afraid all the children will be adopted and that they will be out of a job,
but those appear to be the minority.
Unfortunately, it seems that due to a lack of knowledge, training, or
because of social norms, there is no expectation that these children can
develop any further. However they show
up is believed to be the status they will have for the rest of their
lives. If they make gains on their own,
this new level of ability is accepted as their new “normal”, but no effort is
made to help them achieve. There isn’t
anything intentionally sinister or malicious going on, it is just the way their
culture has taught them to view these children.
I think once we can begin to send pictures and reports of how well these
children are doing and the advances that they are making once they are given
expectations to meet, that we may see a change in attitude among many of the
caregivers. There is a need for
developmental toys here. It would make a
huge difference if we could get at least a crib toy for each crib. After leaving for the day, we began getting
ready for the trip to our old orphanage.
We have a day-long train ride ahead of us so I’m not sure when I’ll be
posting this update. Oh, and the opener
… was for bottles, not cans. Reputation
intact!
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