I used to read The Little House On The Prairie books to Madison when she was little. We loved reading about the new adventures that they were going on. I would often wonder had I lived back then would I be a pioneer? I always pictured myself during the Antebellam days being a rich plantation owners daughter or wife, but that really isn't a pioneer. I have been a missionary to Africa and Mexico and went by myself, but someone had done it before me, so I could follow their advice on how to get things done.
Now we were told that we will be the first RR family to adopt from our orphanage. Pioneer. I never realized how terrifying that could be. There is no one who can tell me what to expect from the local officials. No one to tell me if the conditions at the orphanage are good or bad. I'm walking into the unknown, bringing my whole family with me to rescue two children I've never met. On top of that, I have to do the adoption as a married individual because Mel is to old ( by 1 month and 6 months) so I will be standing in front of the judge all by myself.
On top of that, I feel betrayed by people I thought were friends. We let over 150 people on FB know about our adoption plans and our need for financial help. About 5 have responded. Then absolute silence from everyone else. These are people who we have served on the mission field with or served in battle with. People we stood in there wedding or them in ours. We have given cars, cribs, furniture and money to. Went to Bible college with, served in the Army with, and brought meals to when they were sick. Silence. Psalms 55:12 says," If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God."
They may say, "We'll pray for you". How can I trust that they will pray, when they won't donate even $20 to help recue our children. We are so close to travelling and I look at our FSP and see $2311.
Pioneer. I will walk this path with my husband and children out into the great unknown, because I know who leads me there. I know the One who see's the end from the beginning. He is already at that orphanage with my children and will give me the courage and strength to continue on, alone if needed. But how could I be alone when He is by me and my sweet husband and amazing children are all around me.
I will walk with you Lord, out into the unknown....